Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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