Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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