You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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