DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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