I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
