I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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