your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Someone came in the potted fern
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
