I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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