Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
