I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
