Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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