Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
