it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
