Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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