I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
oh god the rape fog is back!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
