OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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