I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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