6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
