Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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