Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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