I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
