just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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