In the future we'll all be gay
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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