Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she told me i tasted like america
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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