we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
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