dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
