I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize