I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
