hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We left the knife in your bed.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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