I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
