is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
