mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
