I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
