What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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