woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize