need another drink. this is the easiest way
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i need some magic done to my vagina
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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