escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
