singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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