oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
