I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
