those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
