We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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