There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
