I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
