It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize