The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The feeling are messing with the penis
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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