You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
