If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You've changed since you got that strap on
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
