im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize