its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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