Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
