I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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