i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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