New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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