matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
