The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
