I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
