Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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