Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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