We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
