Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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