I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
