also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
why do cheetos always look like penises
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
my poor anus
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
