my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
