I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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